Baby, It's Cold Outside
by captainohcaptain12
Summary: Why is Killian seemingly impervious to the treacherous Maine winters and frigid temperatures? Why does he never have a decent coat on? I don't know - but I do know that it's going to come back and bite him one day. Humor/fluff.


AN: My hometown is about to be struck with "hamster sized snowflakes" - no joke, that's what the weatherman referred to the impending snow storm as! In my current location, I'm lucky if the weather ever drops below fifty degrees so needless to say I'm missing the snow! I've had a bit too much caffeine today, so I decided to do this one shot (and take a break from my multi-chapter fic I've been working on). Obviously there is snow in the Enchanted Forest, but I had this idea swirling around in my head so I went with it since Killian never seems dressed appropriately for the cold weather in Maine.

Fluff. Pure sticky fluff. Ye' been warned.

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There was an eery silence that had overtaken the streets of Storybrooke, the only sound was Emma's boots as they crunched against the freshly fallen snow. Pulling her jacket snugly around her, her arms shivered in protest at the below freezing temperatures. Nightfall had brought frigid temperatures and another wave of snow had begun to fall as soon as the sun had set. She was supposed to be at Granny's already and with a quick glance at her watch, Emma let a curse escape.

_Jesus, it was cold. _

Her thin jeans offered no protection against the winter elements, the cold seemingly clinging to them. Bowing her head against the onslaught of flakes that assaulted her face, Emma quickly crossed the street towards the bright lights of Granny's patio. Noticing a figure hunched over one of the patio sets, a huge huff of indignation rattled out her chest.

_That stupid, stupid pirate!_

His collar was popped up around his ears and his seemingly always full flask was on the table in front of him. Red, uneven blotches graced his handsome features and his sapphire eyes were hardened against the bitter wind. His face broke into a smile as he saw her walking towards him, and rose to greet her with his arms outstretched. Enveloping her into a quick embrace, Killian quickly pecked her chapped cheekbone.

"What in the hell are you wearing?" A ridiculously deep plunging neckline, that's what. He had forgone his normal vest and instead wore a dark button down and his leather jacket, exposing pale pasty flesh tinged pink from the extreme wind. A deep chuckle erupted from him and he pulled her a bit closer as they quickly hopped up the steps towards the door of the diner. Emma reached towards the door and pulled on the frosty handle, only for the the door to remain stuck closed. Looking down Emma sighed once more - ice had crusted around the door frame already. Knocking a short cadence on the door, Snow's eager face appeared behind the frosty glass.

"Come in from that cold!" Emma rolled her eyes and felt a tight smile tug at the corners of her mouth. Dusting the snow from her jacket and slipping the knitted cap off her hair, Emma took in the sights of the diner. David sat hunched in a booth, his eyes darting across the pages of worn paperback and his other hand gently and rhythmically rocking the car seat that had been situated on the booth next to him. Henry sat across from him, fingers expertly moving across his phone's screen - a dark look of intensity marring his features. A steaming cup of cocoa sat untouched in front of him.

They had all agreed to meet at Granny's for a quick dinner before the snow storm that was forecasted to hit, but it looks as though the weather had - once again - gotten their predictions wrong. Emma had been on patrol at the Rabbit Hole across town, sending the resident drunks on their merry way before they were snowed in with nearly all the liquor in Storybrooke. A weather alert had buzzed across her phone nearly an hour ago warning of an estimated fifteen inches tonight and Emma had booked it across town shortly after. Her bug hadn't wanted to start so she had no choice but to face the unpleasant walk. That hot cocoa was looking mighty good.

"Killian, what on earth are you wearing? Have you not a proper coat?" Snow's haughty shrill voice shook with each word in disbelief. With a cowardly glance towards Emma, Killian's hand began to scratch at the back of his ear.

"It isn't too bad, milady, I've fared more treacherous conditions than these." Snow's eyes bulged out of her head and shot a horrified look towards Emma, who had already began to saunter towards the booth where her son and father were.

"You're on your own, buddy." A small laugh left her and with that she left her mother and…well, whatever the hell he was, standing at the entrance. Sliding into the booth, Emma bumped her hips against Henry's, her arm snaking around the back of his neck. A small smile flashed her way before his eyes went back towards his phone - fingers never breaking a beat.

"Hey, kid, how's it going?"

"He hasn't looked up from that phone in the last hour, so good luck." David glanced up from his novel with a bemused look towards her son, who apparently didn't hear a word neither of them had said.

"Well then he won't mind if I help myself then, will he?" Wrapping her chilled hands around the steaming mug, Emma brought it to her lips allowing for an exaggerated sniff - breathing in the sweet aroma of the chocolate and cinnamon. Henry didn't even bat an eye.

"Okay, what's going on kid? Solving a global crisis?" A playful shove of his shoulder broke him of his concentration and he placed the phone back into his lap with a bashful smile. A blush began to creep up across his neck and into the apples of his cheeks, while David let out a small laugh.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that our Henry has found his very own True Love." A broad smile now graced her father's handsome features and Emma let out a small gasp as she examined her son's face for his tell. The blush deepened to a dark scarlet and he let out a frustrated grunt as he slid the phone into his jacket pocket.

"What's this, a love affair between the lad and a lady friend? She must be a beautiful lass." Killian had found his place next to Emma and his blue eyes had begun to sparkle mischievously. As soon as Emma opened her mouth to ask the thousand questions that crossed her mind, Snow appeared with her coat and gloves already donned.

"I hate to break this up, but I think we should get home sooner rather than later. It's really beginning to come down out there…" Snow's voice trailed off as she took in the teasing faces of her husband and Killian and the reddened face of her grandson.

Emma sighed as she looked down the hot cocoa in her hands, the words dying quickly on her lips. In agreement with her mother, Emma placed her hand once more on the back of her son's warm neck.

"Saved by the freak snow storm." His dark brown eyes looked down towards his lap once more and he mumbled something incoherent before nodding his head slightly.

"I'll walk you out to your vessel, love."

"I actually don't have the bug with me - long story - can I hitch a ride back with you guys?" Swinging her legs out from the booth, Emma stretched her arms behind her head releasing the tension that had coiled up in her spine. With another huff and heave, Henry raised himself to his feet. A dark look of disdain once again flashed towards her father and Killian (who unsurprisingly had begun to feign ignorance and a nonchalant attitude) as her son's hand slipped back inside of his jacket pocket.

"Oh we are just having a good go of things, lad, nothing to worry about." Another chortle left the pirate's lips and he intertwined his ringed hand into Emma's. Looking forlornly at the still untouched cup of cocoa that steamed beautifully under the cafe light, Emma shrugged sadly. Why was it that whenever there was just a moment - one singular moment - where she could enjoy a normal conversation with her son, a norma cup of cocoa, a normal date with her boyfriend - did something have to happen.

A wicked witch.

An ice wall.

An ice witch!

And now a freak snow storm that was, with her luck, probably going to bury them all alive.

Or worse cut out the internet and Netflix. The horror! Repressing a shudder, Emma fingered her gloves in her coat pocket before she placed the furry mitts back on. It was definitely better to just get moving as Snow had said. Killian had taken to staying over at the loft and there was an unspoken agreement between her parents and herself to feign ignorance about the whole arrangement. Snow's eyebrows practically had waggled off her face that first morning when they had come down for breakfast, with a canary grin so wide Emma feared her face would crack. David…well for a moment - a really seriously deafeningly silent moment - she was afraid Killian was going to be punched back into the Enchanted Forest but instead he had very anticlimactically asked for Killian to pass the syrup.

Why he was making such a show of walking her to her car, when she knew he was just going to come back anyway was beyond herself. With the two of them, plus Henry, and the carseat - there was no possible way they were all going to fit in the car. Snow seemingly already had figured this out and was standing expectedly by the door with an awkward expression across her face.

"We aren't going to fit - we will just have to walk back to the loft. It's not too far…" Her voice trailed off as she took in the incredulous face that crossed Killian's handsome features while simultaneously trying to ignore the guffaw from Henry. Her son smirked as he slid the phone back out, beginning to text furiously again as he pecked a quick kiss to her cheek.

"See you at home, mom!" And with that the little shit was already out the door moving at a lightening pace, the bell still jingling when he reached the truck parked out front. David apologetically glanced her way as he too followed her son out the door, the car seat practically clutched to his chest. Another cold blast of air filled the diner - it was really beginning to pick up out there. It was nearly empty at this time - only one of the dwarves sat at the bar talking quietly with one of the waitresses she'd never really noticed before. Snow glanced once more nervously towards Emma, taking a tentative step towards her.

"Maybe Granny has a room that you could rent…or we can come back and pick you back up, it's no bother really."

"Don't worry about - it's only a few blocks. We will be fine. We don't have any of our stuff here - not even my phone charger. I don't want to be stuck here with a dwarf, Granny's lasagna, and no Netflix until this whole storm blows over." Killian rolled his eyes and she could swear she heard an incoherent mumbling that sounded suspiciously like _chop liver, _but she did her best to ignore it.

"If you're certain…"

"I am. It's fine. Go before Henry drives off without you and takes out another mailbox." Snow offered a quick embrace, took two steps backwards before turning on her heel and leaving. It was a moment later that Emma saw the truck putter slowly across the increasingly snowy road before disappearing completely for her view. With a deep sigh, she turned to face Killian.

"You're going to freeze, you know." Her voice had begun to nag. When did she begin to be someone who nags?!

"We could stay here, love, enjoy the quite cozy establishment that Granny has graciously set up here." Another waggle of his eyebrows and a swaying of his hips. It sounded like a wonderful idea but with fifteen inches of snow on its way, she did not want to take her chances of being stuck for days without even a change of clothes. No - it was best just to get this walk out of way and head towards the loft as quickly as possible. Leading Killian towards the door, she slipped her other hand into her pocket to place her still slightly damp knit hat back upon her head.

Pushing open the door, Emma took a step down careful to miss the icy patch that had nearly gotten her on the way in. She glanced sideways at Killian who had let out a nearly girlish whelp seconds after the bitter air bit at his skin. His dark hair had already began to freckle with large fluffy flake of pristine snow and his hook gleamed in the reflection of the icy snow. He was such a stubborn fool to be practically naked in this cold weather. It wasn't that she was dressed much better, but at least she had gloved and a hat. A few days previously David had attempted to gift him with an older pair of gloves and a thick wool coat but had only been met with a cackling pirate who couldn't manage to capture his breath for a good ten minutes.

Serves him right now, the dumb pirate.

The quickly crossed the street careful to miss the reflective pools of ice that had already began to form across the roadway. Although his fingers were firmly gripped in her own, his cold flesh permeated across the warmth of her mitten and it was at that moment she noticed a chattering was emitting from him.

"Do you want to go back and ask for a co—-"

Suddenly the snow flakes were beaming towards her face as the world slid backwards. Her body lurched as her legs began to swing up towards the open air and for a fleeting moment she felt completely weightless.

A jab and oomph. The world slid back in the other direction and suddenly the pavement was obscuring her vision — attempting to grab anything in the mere fraction of a second - she was met with slippery leather. She clenched her eyes as she braced for impact only to be met with another oomph. She felt her weight slam into his and down they went.

Deep huffs of air filled her senses and she realized that she had landed on top of him. Allowing herself to open her eyes, she was met with his ocean blue orbs. His breath was warm on her neck, short puffs of condensation swirling in the air for a moment before floating away. His chest heaved with adrenaline and his left arm and hook had found its way to her back hip.

"This is getting old, Swan." It was then that she realized they had landed in one of snow embankments that had been plowed up against the road already from the previous snow storm. The blackened slush seeped into her jacket cuffs as she pushed herself into the kneeling position, alleviating the pressure off of him. His face tightly scrunched into a grimace and it was then she realized he was now completely covered in the snow.

A deep laugh cackled from her chest at his horrified expression as the realization dawned of his predicament. Still wracked with laughs, she pulled herself into the standing position and reached a hand out towards him. He firmly gripped his right hand in hers and lifted to his feet.

"I'm elated that I could be of entertainment to you, Swan." Her laughs only intensified at the snow that dripped off his face and as he attempted to brush the powder from his dark jeans.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thanks for catching me. My hero." She shot a flirty look his way and quickly turned on her heel, careful to not let him see her grin. They were only a short block away and he was sure to be definitely freezing now. Serves him right, she thought again. His pride somewhat damaged, he had remained silent the rest of the walk - quietly huffing and chattering away. As they reached the loft a few minutes later, she noticed that his jeans were sticking to his well toned legs and his hair stuck to his forehead while sticking up in wet tufts somehow in others. Shaking the snow off her boots on the door step, Emma didn't wait for him as she pushed open the door and bounded the stairs two at a time, anxious to reach the warmth of the apartment. She heard Killian do the same and hear his shoes clack against the wooden steps behind her.

Opening the door, Emma was met with Snow cuddling what looked to be a bundle of blankets and her son slumped in to the chair still glued to his mobile. A blast of warm air hit her face and instantly she could feel the snow begin to melt that had been stuck to her hair. Entering the apartment and sliding off her boots, she smiled towards her mother.

""It wasn't too bad, then?"

""Wait till you see Killian." She offered with a small laugh as she slid onto the couch next to her son, leaning curiously over his shoulder.

"Why, did something happ-oh my!" It was then that Killian had entered through the door, his chest hair now slicked to his chest and glistening with the flakes of snow. Henry looked up from his phone for moment to meet the man with a silent smirk. David leaned in from the kitchen, poking his head towards the door to see what the commotion was about.

"I bet you wish you'd taken that coat now, huh pirate?" /p

"The priceless look on Captain freakin' Hook's face was enough to warm Emma's soul for not only this snow storm, but hell - another Ice Queen could take another crack at her and she wouldn't care. With his face sputtering incredulously towards her father and another cackle leaving her lips, she couldn't help but think about how damn cute he'd be in a beanie.


End file.
